So, here’s the deal: We are putting on the show at 200 E. Patrick St. on Saturday. The headlining band will be Seaknuckle. They will be releasing their brand new record, “Get Over It.” But because we are the ones putting on the show, it feels like a bit of a conflict if we ran a review of the record two days before the show, saying we love it. Why? Because it could be perceived as though we are only saying as much to try and sell more tickets. Thing is, we do love it, but we will abstain from reviewing it until the end of the year, when we are not bound at the hip, trying to promote a show together. This way, at least when we say we love it, you might actually believe us. We strive for honesty, people. Honesty. And that’s all.
BUT, because we felt it would probably be a good idea to post a review of the record on the week of the record-release show, we asked the boys in the band to give us their take on the album. Below is what we received, a review written by “Jon Felps (not to be confused with Jon Phelps of Seaknuckle).” All told, this might be the best-written review this site has ever published. So, enjoy:
What if Godzilla went glam? This horrifyingly beautiful thought has been repeating over and over in my head since listening to the Seaknuckle debut album, “Get Over It,” a collection of 11 songs that could EASILY be the soundtrack for Godzilla Jagger-strutting into apartment complexes leaving a trail of fire and feather boas.
It all starts with “Little Blood,” presumably a song about phlebotemy. When’s the last time that niche subject was represented in pop songwriting? ’08? ’09? IT’S ABOUT TIME. Thanks, Seaknuckle.
The first heavy hitter of the lot, “Lost in the Shade,” clocks in at a meager 2:12, but Glamzilla is said to have caused upwards of $3 billion worth of damage and three sorority houses worth of fashion advice in that time. The next song, “Shake Shake Shake,” is the first single and boy, oh boy, oh boy, oh boy does it deliver. The boys made a music video for “Shake Shake Shake” with local talent Dill Baird and wow, is it a rare insight into mental disorder and prolific sweating. Seeing these guys in their natural habitat causes one to expect David Attenborough’s narration at any moment.
Now, songwriting seems to be Seaknuckle’s real forte on “Get Over It,” but that doesn’t mean they are any schlubs on their instruments. Colin Shultzaberger’s drumming is bombastically precise, like a robot that just got ketchup squirted into its gas tank. Matt Dabson’s bass sounds like if Bootsy Collins met Grizzly Adams. And Joe Jalette’s lead guitar melodies might possibly be the sole reason Godzilla picked up tights and a bedazzled cod-piece in the first place. Everyone’s vocals are like hippy jenkum, spreading love, peace, and devastation upon all the lands so long as the beast known as Glamzilla is allowed to live.
And if that wasn’t enough, the producer, Myles Vlachos, acted as some sort of sorcerer puppetmaster and took the beginnings of a fabulously destructive monster and shaped them into a fully formed, off its meds, glammed-out sonic leviathan. And if all this talk about glittered monsters in the form of indie-rock songs doesn’t make sense, just listen to “Get Over It.” You will understand what I mean.
*********9 Glamzillas out of 10*********